


Into the Light: A Merlin and Sefa Collection:

by jillc



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 15:52:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13593381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillc/pseuds/jillc
Summary: I have done a number of stories on these two characters, and have decided to fit them into a collection. Some of these are just one shots and some continue on from one another.





	1. Lost and Found

LOST AND FOUND

She found him in the Darkling Woods one cold winter’s night. His face was vacant and pale; his eyes seemed to see no one and nothing. She felt his hands and was shocked by just how freezing they were. She attempted to rub some warmth into them talking to him, desperately trying to get a reaction from him. Every now and then his blue eyes would stare at her, but she had no idea whether he even remembered her.

She very gently eased him onto his feet and slowly they walked towards her little hut nearby. As she helped him to sit down on a chair she got the fire started up covering him in a blanket.

For months she fussed over him cooking his meals putting him to bed, watching over him like a mother would a sick child. She never left his side, not wanting to miss out on any reaction from him. 

In the meantime she spent her time chatting to him. Talking about her day, about the way the weather and seasons were changing outside from winter to the early spring. As she spoke about nature she would notice the odd spark of interest from him. It was as if a little life and warmth came into his blue eyes. She would live for such a moment, any little hope that she may be getting through to him. She totally refused to give up on him. Even when he pushed the food away, she would soon be back slowly persuading him to eat. Every little mouthful was a victory for her.

Spring was now here all of a sudden the daylight shone through the windows, creating a very different world. Birds began to sing outside, the odd deer sprinted past. They had taken to sitting outside together watching the world changing in front of them. For now she was content just to be by his side, watching over him. She knew one day he would come back to her, she just had to be patient. 

Then one day it finally happened, he had taken her hand gently and looked in her eyes, before simply saying.

“Thank you Sefa.”

She smiled she knew they would be alright.


	2. Something Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story continues on from Lost and Found, it is part of a trilogy I wrote on this couple.

Sefa and Merlin had been living together for over a year, and Sefa could not have been happier. When she thought back to the man that she’d met a year ago, it seemed hard to believe that he was the same person. Back then his eyes were sunken so deeply, with grief that she feared he would never smile again. It had been a long, long process for both of them but now, he appeared to be on the mend.

They were living modestly in Sefa’s hut in the forest. They saw few people, but those who passed by were relative strangers. Sefa could see that this suited Merlin well, as they could virtually invent their own background, to suit themselves. They did not have put up appearances for anyone, they just had to be themselves. So it was they lived, came to know each other better, and made plans for the future.

Merlin would practice his magic all day, coming up with new spells. Sefa had found an old book that had been left in the hut by the last occupance. She contented herself each evening, by watching Merlin’s new skills as he practiced hard. She loved watching him use his magic, his face truly came alive. She revelled in the idea of how much life flooded through those eyes, that had shed such tears, when they first met.

Coming back from work one day, he had run out of the hut calling her name. At first she’d feared something was wrong, but suddenly she found herself being hugged and flung around. She laughed as she had never seen him so excited before.

“Sefa, Sefa come here I have to show you something.” he cried, pulling her into the hut. 

Sefa followed him in having noticed that he had been busy, with new shelves fitted onto the wall.

“Merlin you’ve done the shelves that is great. We’ll have more room now.” Sefa said, delighted.

Merlin made a face. “Oh that’s nothing I did them this morning.” He dismissed.

Sefa laughed, once again amazed at how he casually dismissed any normal skill he possessed.

“No, no listen there is a spell I have been mastering for years. Well today I have managed it.” He said, his face alive with emotion.

“Tell me about it then.” Sefa sat down next to him. For the next five minutes she watched mesmerized as Merlin showed her. 

Whenever he used his magic, Sefa loved to watch his eyes. The way the blueness turned to gold, she could almost sense the energy that grew from within him. She found it beautiful and somehow comforting. She knew he would only ever use his magic for good. She hardly believed him capable of hurting anyone, even though she knew he must have. She knew him enough to know that he still had to fight some demons. But she promised herself as long as they were together, she would protect him with everything she had.

Her mouth flew open as she watched the end result. She took the chain from his hand, her eyes still not quite believing what they’d just seen. “Merlin it’s gold. How did you do that?” she asked, amazed as she fingered the chain.

“They have always said it was impossible to turn anything into gold, through magic alone. Years ago in Camelot there were a band of Sorcerers who used a stone to turn items into gold. Thanks to the book I discovered an ancient spell, and now I have mastered it. You see they were wrong.” he said, laughing.

Sefa smiled, touching his face. “You are so clever my warlock.”

“I would never have done this without you being by my side.” Merlin said, “Here I thought you may like this chain.”

“Thank you.” Sefa replied, deciding this could be a good moment to tell him. “Actually I have some news for you too.” 

“What is it? Nothing bad I hope.” Merlin said, suddenly worried.

“I saw a healer today in the village.” Sefa began, her fingers suddenly nervous and fidgety.

“Sefa what is the matter.” Merlin asked, going over to her, concern in his eyes.

“She will tell me in a couple of days, I already know.” Sefa smiled, “I am pregnant Merlin. You are going to be a father.”

There was a short pause before Merlin flew into a panic, after giving her a brief hug.

“I’ll, I’ll have to get a job, straight away.” he began.

“Merlin there is no need to panic, I’ll be fine for a couple of months. You are pleased, aren’t you?” she asked, not wanting him to feel pressured.

“Come here.” He said, holding his hands out. Before she knew it, he gave her a passionate kiss. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes. So now I know why you were trying to master your skill today.” Sefa said, a twinkle in her eyes.

“Absolutely because I knew you must have something special today.” Merlin grinned.

“I already have.” Sefa replied, “You.”


	3. A Reason to Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final part of the trilogy, and is about Merlin coming to terms with his new life.

It was the end of a beautiful day, and Merlin gazed up at the cloudless sky a piece of grass dangling from his mouth. He was laying in a beautiful meadow, full of wild flowers, the scent which flew around his body, forcing him to inhale in all its beauty.

There was a time when he dreaded such days as these. They were days when he harped around attempting to find a job to do to cover the hurt that was still raw inside his heart. Days when he would be haunted by endless images of those that he’d lost, through the years.

Sometimes those images would still torture his mind, when he found himself alone. So many people had died his best friend and King, his first love, his father, his best friend. For a second he closed his eyes and attempted to make his overactive mind relax. He opened his eyes slowly feeling a soft breeze ruffle his hair as he did so.

As he gazed around the meadow he admitted to himself that it was a beautiful spot. Where he was lying he could still see the white towers of Camelot, but all around him were fields showing off their summer wears. He smiled to himself as he remembered the last time that he had lay here, and with whom.

There was no doubt about it she had saved him. From the moment he had stumbled across her that day. She had taken him in, and fed him, looked after him kept him alive. He had sat there in her little hut giving her no encouragement, wanting only to join Arthur in his endless sleep. Not for the first time he wondered what it was that had made her so determined to keep him alive. He had hated himself at the time; he felt he had failed everyone.

Even now he still felt like a failure, he hardly dared say it anymore though. He remembered the look on her face when he had last spoken the words. How tears had fallen from her eyes, and such a haunted look on her lovely face, that he had hated himself for even muttering the wretched words. He swore from that day on he would make the most of their time together, and attempt to make a life for himself.

That evening they had come to the same meadow lying in the middle of the flowers, just as he lay now. They had talked, laughed before making love until the sun had disappeared, and the darkness had begun to swirl around them in their loving slumber. He realised now that was the first day that his new life had taken hold of him. The first time he had allowed himself to hope that just maybe he could find some happiness in his lonely world.

“What are you doing?” her voice ended in an endearing laugh, as she studied him.

“Just having a quiet moment before madness descends on me.” he laughed back.

“Madness!” she dug him in the ribs with her hand. “You really know how to flatter me.”

They laughed, before sharing a brief kiss. Suddenly a voice interrupted them.

“Daddy!”

Merlin sat up, a smile on his face as he watched his little girl attempt to make her way across the meadow to him. He got up holding his arms out to her, marvelling at how quickly she had already grown. Seeing him there smiling, had encouraged her to increase her speed. Merlin laughed as he watched her waddle along giggling as she went.

Suddenly she took a stumble, in a flash Merlin eyes had flashed orange and she was magically righted. It had earned him a light slap.

“Merlin I keep telling you, she has to learn.” Sefa said.

“Look at her.” Merlin said he bent to pick her up in his arms. “I could never bare to see either of you hurt.” He gave his gurgling daughter a kiss on the cheek. For a second he felt insanely happy, and he longed to shout it out.

“What is it?” Sefa asked as if sensing his mood.

“I’m just so happy, you two make me feel so alive.” he smiled. “I never thought I’d have the chance to be so blessed.”

“I keep telling you Merlin.” Sefa smiled kissing him. “We are the ones that are blessed having you. I will never tire telling you that.”

“And I’ll never tire hearing it.” Merlin grinned. 

“Daddy look!”

Merlin looked ahead at where his daughter was excitedly pointing. He smiled as he saw a young doe, suddenly appear. For a second they starred at it, until it disappeared off into the forest. 

Not for the first time, Merlin counted his blessings realising just how easy it was to take things for granted in life. He vowed he would never do that. From this moment on his life with Sefa and Sian would take priority. It was time for even the mighty warlock to put himself and his family first. 

“I think it is about time you met my mother.” Merlin said. “We will leave for Ealdor tomorrow.”

Sefa smiled at him. “I would really like that.”

“Come on I think it’s my turn to do the dinner.” Merlin replied, as Sian began to fall asleep, in his arms.

Merlin smiled as Sefa put her arm around his waist, and they slowly made their way home.


	4. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a three part story which is set after the last episode of the show ends. Queen Guinevere is sitting on the throne, Merlin has returned to Camelot and he persuades Sefa to return there, as Guinevere has allowed magic to return. It is a new beginning for everyone.

The sun was still high up in the sky, as Sefa waited around for Merlin to join her. They had been seeing each other for three months now, and time had flown by, she felt as if she’d known him a life time already.

She loved the long summer days; it seemed as if the days went on forever. She found a boulder to sit down on, and relaxed fully as the sun shone on her happy face. As she waited, she reflected on just how her life had changed for the better. Of course losing her father still hurt, that pain would never leave her. But getting a second chance at Camelot, still seemed like a dream.

Much had changed of course, now magic was allowed again, Merlin was the Court Magician, her Merlin and as she thought that, how she glowed inside. She remembered bumping into him as she was passing through the lower town, on her way to one of the outlet villages, with a plan to start a new life away from Camelot. She remembered how delighted he was to see her again, they had gone for a walk, and talked about both of their adventures. Both where at low ebb, Merlin still coming to terms with Arthur’s death and Sefa, with her life still upside down.

She remembered how afraid she had been, when Merlin suggested her coming back to Camelot. But bit by bit, he convinced her to give it a chance, he was sure that Guinevere would give Sefa another chance. She’d be so afraid when she met the Queen again. Especially as she knew about the King dying, what on earth would her reaction be she wondered? In truth she had prepared herself for rejection, been ready in her head, to have to move on again. To her amazement though Guinevere, had agreed to give her a new chance. “A new start for a new world.” The Queen had termed it, and so Sefa was accepted back into the Palace, much to her delight.

Behind her, she suddenly became aware of a rabbit hopping around in the undergrowth, she laughed and as she turned around, Merlin’s lopsided grin met hers.

“I wondered what you where doing.” He said, picnic basket in hand.

“Just making the most of the day.” She smiled back, taking hold of his hand as they walked off into the woods. They laughed and chatted as they walked to their favourite spot, a clearing near a stream. Merlin laid out the mat and took out the food laying it around. They sat down together, Sefa leaning against Merlin, as they ate, presently Sefa turned to Merlin saying.

“It’s amazing when I think to where I was a year back. No hope, no idea where I was going to. Then I come across you again, and suddenly I have all of this.” She said smiling at him, her hand stroking his arm.

“It’s amazing for me too, I was no better, a mess after Arthur, and never for one moment did I think I’d have the life, I have now.” He smiled, “Life is full of surprises, so my mother use to always tell me.” He laughed. 

“I would love to meet your mother.” Sefa said, “Maybe one day.” 

“I would like you to meet her too.” Merlin said, “I’m sure I can get a day off or two.” He smiled, “of course you will have to pass her scrutiny test.”

“Her what?” Sefa laughed, feeling like it sounded like too much hard work.

“All mothers are like that,” Merlin said, “Especially about their sons. In fact I was thinking maybe we should put a bit of work in.” he grinned.

“Oh I agree.” Sefa laughed, and they kissed, only stopping when a sudden burst of wind blew away the picnic basket. As Merlin ran and rescued it, Sefa laughed at the sight.

“You call yourself a great warlock, and yet you can’t control the wind yet.” She said.

Merlin sat down next to her, his blue eyes suddenly locking into hers, “Give me time,” Merlin grinned, “and there will be nothing I cannot give you.”

As he pulled her into his arms, Sefa let a tear of happiness run down her cheek. Life is indeed full of surprises she thought happily.


	5. Little Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part is based on Sefa's relationship with Queen Guinevere. She has been reinstated as the her maid, but on the birthday of Sefa's father, she and the Queen takes steps, to make peace with the past.

Camelot’s yearly fete was almost here. Everywhere bunting had been put round the castle and the lower town. Children scuttled everywhere chattering endlessly, excitement blew off every corner.

Gwen was busying herself wrapping presents with Sefa, for the less well of children. There was a tense silence between them, this day that Gwen could not put her finger on. 

“Are you alright today Sefa, you seem quiet.” Gwen had said attempting to get a conversation going.

“I am sorry my lady.” Sefa had replied “I.” 

“Come and sit over here, we will have a little break.” Gwen motioned for her to sit down.

“Thank you my lady.” Sefa sat down, feeling embarrassed that her fingers wouldn’t stay still. She attempted to smile at the Queen, but to her shame she could feel tears in her eyes. 

Gwen noticed them and leaned forward, lightly touching her maid’s hand.

“I always find it is best to get it out in the open, if you can.” She said.

“It would have been my father’s birthday today.” Sefa said the sentence came out in a rush, Sefa could feel her cheeks burn as she said it.

“Ah. I see.” Gwen said.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them for a minute. Suddenly it was if they where each back in their own corner. There was Sefa defending her father, Gwen having to do the duty of a Queen. Gwen suddenly realised that in reinstating Sefa, she had ignored everything that had gone on before. She swallowed suddenly realising that it had been unwise not to have attempted to repair the broken bridges that existed between Sefa and her.

“Sefa I fear I did you an injustice in not talking about this earlier on. I should have got this out of the way from the beginning instead of ignoring it.”

“Ignoring what my lady?” Sefa asked

“I feel I should have been more honest with you about your father. I never had any intention of executing you, after I arrested you.”

“But you turned me down, when I asked for a reprieve.” Sefa said searching her face. 

“I was hoping to lure your father to Camelot, as I felt he was the danger to Arthur, not you. I was hoping to capture him, once he got here, but as you know it all went wrong, and you both got away.”

“Can I ask you a question? Would you have executed him?” Sefa asked.

“By the law of the land he had committed treason; I would have not been doing my duty if I hadn’t.” Gwen sighed. 

“Thank you for being honest.” Sefa said. “I would have done anything for him. He never let me help before. When he asked me to spy, my only thought was to please him. But then when I got to know everyone it all became harder. As I realised you where not what he said you where, but I was so scared of letting him down.” She said sadly.

“Yet you came back here.” Gwen said.

“It was Merlin’s idea. I hadn’t even thought about Camelot, and then I came across him one day. I could barely look him in the face, but he was so gracious, he insisted I came back with him. Every now and then there is a little voice that asks me what I am doing here. My father would never have understood.” She said.

“A little voice.” Gwen mused “I’ve heard that little voice too, especially when I was looking after Uther. It is amazing what you are prepared to do for love though.”

“Yes I understand that now.” Sefa smiled.

“Sefa I’m going to tell you a little story, about what happened to me some years ago. Before I was even seeing Arthur, I lived with my father. At the time he was short of money, he was forever trying to improve our situation, by taking on extra work. This particular time the man he worked with happened to be a sorcerer. He was arrested, thrown into jail, and he was killed escaping.”

Sefa looked at her in amazement. “Yet you stayed here.”

“Camelot was my home; it took me ages to sort myself out, after that. Some days that little voice spoke very loudly, I had to find a way to ignore it, and choose my own path. But in the end I did, because I knew that was what my father would have wanted. I don’t believe for all the differences we have, your father would be any different now.”

There was a silence between them, as each of them thought of their own losses.

“If you are to continue here, I don’t want you thinking that you have to hide things. I have broad shoulders being Queen you need them. Whenever you hear that little voice, just remember you are not alone Sefa.”

“Thank you for that my lady.” Sefa said 

There was a little knock on the door, and suddenly Merlin poked his head round it.

“Are you ready Sefa?” he said.

“Oh I’d forgotten to ask you my lady.” Sefa said

Gwen interrupted, her, “Go on and have a nice time.” She smiled as Sefa and Merlin laughed all the way down the corridor. 

Gwen went over to the window and watched the tables going up in the courtyard, time to join in the fun she thought, and ignore her own little voice.


	6. Catching the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final part of the trilogy, and Merlin looking back on his time with Arthur.

It was a day when the sun was so high up in the sky, if it was as if you could see the edge of the world. As Sefa walked through the woods, with Merlin at her side, she felt completely free of worry. As they walked talking as they went Sefa sensed that a strange mood had possessed Merlin. It was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, not that he wasn’t being attentive to her, as ever she felt completed spoilt by his generosity and loveliness. But she sensed there was something on his mind. Yet it didn’t alarm her, she felt sure he would tell her in time.

As they walked further into the forest, Sefa felt as if she was entering a different world. One where her senses suddenly took over she could smell flowers on the breeze, Merlin suddenly pointed. Following his finger she saw the biggest deer she had ever seen. 

“Oh he’s beautiful.” She breathed, “how come we got so close?” she asked

“The breeze must have masked our scent; the breeze is such an important part of the natural environment.” He explained.

She smiled at him, just happy to take everything in. 

“Sorry I go off on a tandem about nature sometimes.” He apologised.

“I don’t mind. I’ve never really thought about it, you keep opening my mind to so much.” She smiled, then blushed thinking she sounded a bit dull.

“Why did you blush then?” he asked his hand touching her face gently.

“I must sound so dull at times. I mean you seem to know so much, I do wonder what you see in me sometimes.” She remarked.

“Don’t you ever say that about yourself? We all have qualities and you have plenty.”

She laughed, “If you say so.”

“ I do say so. Arthur use to think I was so stupid. Having to hide who I was all the time, it was easier to hide myself into that context. Pretend I was a nothing.”

“That must have been so hard, considering who you are.” Sefa said.

Merlin laughed, “It served its purpose that was not why I did it. I served him because I totally believed in him, and what he would do.” 

“You must miss him.” Sefa said holding his hand.

“More than I can say. His last words to me where, he wanted me to be me, but the truth is I spent so long in the shadows, I had forgotten who I actually was. To tell you the truth it has only been recently that I have remembered.”

He picked up a leaf, she watched as his eyes glowed gold, all of a sudden, she found she was holding a big red flower, she recognised the smell as the one she had so loved while they’d been walking.

“How did you know?” she laughed

“I noticed you smelling the air.” He replied.

“Have you learnt to control the wind yet?” she asked

“Let’s see.” He replied getting up.

Sefa watched as he walked away a few yards. Her eyes opened wider as she saw his hands suddenly move as his eyes glowed and he softly spoke; all of a sudden Sefa was aware of a change of atmosphere. She got up as she felt a gust of gentle wind blow around them, all of a sudden flower petals where swirling round them. She took a deep breathe her arms out wide as she circled where she stood. Merlin watched her for a moment before taking her in his arms, and hugging her to him.

“I could stay here forever.” She breathed. “I’d like to thank you for this lovely afternoon.”

“No thank you for giving me a reason to live again.” He said. Their lips met


	7. The Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a one shot, and is set in the golden age of Camelot. Arthur and Guinevere are King and Queen of Albion with Merlin as Court Sorcerer. Audrey also makes an appearance as well as some of the Knights.

Merlin sauntered down the corridors of Camelot, balancing pots and pans in his hands and arms, in a precarious manner. With the kitchen getting an extra store room it was all hands to the pump as the new room was being filled up, with new crockery. An endless line of moving people loaded with everything they could carry, filled Camelot’s basement, Audrey as ever running the show.

“Bring that over here. No leave those where they are. Stop chatting and more working, you can gossip when you’re out of here.” Audrey continued shouting her pearls of wisdom, to the overworked kitchen staff. Hearing her lilted tones, Merlin allowed himself a smile, and before long he was the next victim.

“What are you so pleased about Court Sorcerer?” Audrey asked a little smile underneath her lashes.

“It is hearing your soothing voice Audrey, how can I not be happy at such a glorious sound?” Merlin asked, with a lopsided grin to accompany the explanation.

“Get away with you. I hope you are not shirking from the King today.” She said narrowing her eyes in warning.

“Not at all, in fact I can safely say I doubt Arthur is even missing me at the moment.”

Audrey gave him a questioning look, but Merlin had gone, by the time she got round to asking him what he meant. She shook her head, and gave a little smile.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time Merlin had moved upstairs to the King’s Chambers it was mid-morning. He knocked on the door remembering with horror what had happened the last time he walked in unannounced. It had actually caused great hilarity for Gwen in particular; Arthur though had spent the entire week, berating his servant, much to Merlin’s exasperation. Though the last few days he liked to think he had more than got back at the King.

“Oh he can knock then.” Arthur replied a sardonic tone to his voice.

“Arthur,” Gwen responded, “Morning Merlin I heard you had an interesting night last night.” She said

Merlin suddenly panicked what had she heard? “Oh no it was nothing much I just went to the Tavern with Gwaine for a quick one.” Merlin blushed, feeling his choice of words could have been better, “I mean a couple of drinks.”

Arthur and Gwen smiled at each other, Merlin could suddenly feel embarrassment filling his face, and how he hated this.

“Well I have to say the reports that got back to us,” Arthur remarked “tell a very different story.” The King raised an eyebrow at him.

“It really was nothing.” Merlin said realising the tone of his voice was raising “Just a misunderstanding that is all. I just fell over, and we got a bit,” he searched for the correct word, to get him out of his predicament, “mixed up.” He sighed knowing what was coming next.

“Mixed up? Oh so you didn’t fall on top of her, knocking her off her stool?” Arthur asked, hardly able to keep a straight face.

“Ok I accidently knocked her off the stool, it could have happened to anyone.” Merlin argued.

“No Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “These things only happen to you. Especially after two drinks. Now that you are Court Sorcerer maybe I should give you a lesson or two in how to handle drinking.” The King suggested winking at Gwen

Merlin raised his eyes saying “Is this the man who the last time he had a few drinks, couldn’t remember how to get back to his chambers, and ended up waking Gaius in the middle of the night and had to be escorted back to his bed?” 

“I never heard about that.” Gwen said, looking at Arthur.

Arthur glared at Merlin, who merely laughed to himself. “Sorry I was supposed to keep that to myself wasn’t I?”

“You couldn’t keep a secret to save your life.” Arthur retorted.

Gwen and Merlin burst out laughing, Arthur suddenly realising what he said blushed, and left the room murmuring about having to take a training session.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merlin picked up some washing and went to leave the room, as he did so, Gwen called him back.

“Merlin I could do with some help tonight. Lady Sylvia and her daughter Lotte are arriving tonight, I wondered if you could possibly help me entertain them?” the Queen smiled.

Merlin inwardly squirmed knowing full well, what Gwen was trying to do. Being so happy with Arthur, she could not bear Merlin to be alone, and had started match making for the Court Sorcerer. So far it had to be said, her choices had been extremely mixed, with the last one Clara traumatising the sorcerer to such an extent he wondered if he would ever go on a date ever again. Getting himself together he tried to think of an excuse.

“I’d love to but actually I am going out.”

“Going out?” Gwen asked “Down to the Tavern?”

“I’m going on a date.” He smiled.

“You are going on a date?” Gwen asked “well that’s really good Merlin I’m pleased. Can I ask who with?”

Merlin shuffled his feet, as he tried to quickly think up a name. “Sefa.” He exclaimed

“Sefa?” Gwen repeated, “She never told me.” Gwen had a look of amazement on her face. Her maid, was beginning to open up to Gwen recently, but it seemed she was still keeping quiet about some things.

“Yes well we wanted to keep it quiet.” Merlin prompted, “You know how gossip gets around Camelot.”

“Oh yes,” Gwen nodded “of course, don’t worry I’ll keep quiet about it.” 

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled nervously, “I’d um be grateful. Now I must get on with some work.” He said, almost falling over himself to get going.

“Yes,” the Queen smiled back, “Oh Merlin.” She called as he reached the door.“ Where are you taking her? She asked.

“Oh we’re going on a picnic.” He smiled thinking of the first thing that came into his head.

“That’s nice, have a lovely evening then.” Gwen smiled.

“Oh we will.” Merlin smiled from the door, his mind suddenly whirling around, why did he always panic in these situations, he wondered. As he walked down the corridor hands full of Arthur’s washing, he suddenly gave a start, as he noticed Sefa coming down the stairs. She smiled as she saw him.

“Hello Sefa.” The court sorcerer said, “I’m wondering if I can have a word with you.” 

“I’m a bit late for the Queen.” She apologised.

“It won’t take a minute.” Merlin assured her, suddenly feeling self conscious with his hands full of washing. 

“Yes of course.” She smiled, they moved into a room off the corridor, Merlin wracked his brain trying to think of how to explain, the predicament he’d got himself into. 

“I’ve um got myself into a bit of a mess.” He confessed, suddenly thinking that the best course of action was to be honest with her.

“Anything I can help with?” Sefa asked, “You’ve helped me a lot these past few months.” She smiled at him 

“Well actually I think you can.” Merlin smiled, and as he explained what had happened, Sefa gave a knowing shake of the head, at the end

“I see.” She said, “So what do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Well I was hoping that if the queen asks you, you could um.” Merlin explained

“Yes?” Sefa prompted a smile on her face.

Merlin marvelled at how he could falter so much when talking to a woman. Here he was the mightiest warlock in the world, and he could barely get his words out, he could feel his face burning, and frankly in this moment he would rather be facing some wild creature, then actually talking to Sefa. In the end Sefa took pity on him.

“You want me to say we are going out?” she asked

“Yes,” Merlin said feeling the biggest idiot in the world, she must think me crazy, he thought to himself, in despair. “Um if you could.” He said.

“Of course I can.” She smiled, “what did you say we where going to do tonight?” she asked suddenly curious.

“A picnic,” Merlin gave a downcast look, “I know not very exciting.” He said.

“I think it is a lovely idea.” Sefa smiled at him, looking him in the eye.

Merlin suddenly clicked, “Yes it is a good idea, maybe tonight?” he asked suddenly getting a rush of courage.

“I’d like that.” She replied, “I’d best go.” 

“Yes, of course.” Merlin said, noticing for the first time how blue her eyes where. He watched her walk down the corridor and allowed himself a smile, you’ve done it Merlin at long last. He was amazed at how suddenly he felt totally at ease with the world. Maybe this was the start of something good he thought smiling.


	8. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a two part story. In this version Sefa is not someone who was an enemy of Camelot, but she was forced to leave and look after her sick father. One day she and Merlin come across each other again, and a connection between them begins. Arthur is also still alive in this story and Merlin is Camelot's Court Sorcerer, with a lot on his plate.

Merlin stretched and then carefully got out of bed. His body and head ached and had been for a few days. Now he had his own quarters as he was Court Sorcerer, he was not under Gaius’s maternal care. He knew by now Gaius would be giving him herbs and making him rest more but at the moment Merlin had no time for either. His workload had tripled and he barely had the chance to remember what day it was. He slowly made his way over to the King and Queen’s Quarters and was half way along the corridor before he remembered he’d promised Gaius to collect some comfy before work. For once the extra chore was a blessing maybe being outside would give him the chance to get rid of his headache at least.

He set off for the Darkling Woods taking his old herbs bag and a bacon sandwich one of the kitchen assistants had given to him. Clara in particular spoilt him rotten, a blonde girl with red cheeks she was forever palming stuff off onto him. 

“We can’t have our Court Sorcerer dying of hunger now can we?” she’d said to him that morning. In truth Merlin couldn’t quite understand people’s obession about his weight. He certainly didn’t feel underfed he was just lanky in frame naturally. He let them fuss any way and took it all in good faith, it was certainly better than being viewed at with suspicion as he was in the early day of becoming Court Sorcerer. 

He considered his life now how it had changed and he realised he was pretty much living the dream he’d always wanted. Yes the demands on his time never stopped, but at least people now knew who he was. There was no more hiding away or having to play the fool to cover himself. He was truly thankful for that. He had pretty much everything he desired, with the exception of one thing. He felt lonely. 

He could never quite understand his loneliness. For a person who’d spent much of his time on his own now everything was out in the open he suddenly felt incomplete. He would watch his friends Arthur and Gwen now preparing for their first child and at times envy the fact that they had something extra somehow. 

Suddenly Freya would come into his mind and once again a source of hopelessness would descend over him. Once more the fact that he couldn’t save her would torment his mind. All his powers and yet he could do nothing to save the woman he loved. He questioned if he ever would find contentment in that respect? Or was he just meant even now to be on his own? Was he being punished for not saving Freya, at times it felt like it to him.

He sat down to have a brief rest and rested his aching head on a tree. The leaves were starting to fall and he could feel fragments of them falling around him as he sat. His eyes felt suddenly tired so he took a few minutes to close them and relax, until he briefly fell asleep

Every now and then he caught a scent on the wind, and he let it into his mind and inhaled. She was there standing before him, a smile on her face holding her hand out to him. Merlin smiled at her holding out his own hand to her and walked towards her. They met together and kissed and he breathed in her scent as if he was about to go under water. “Freya” he whispered. Suddenly he woke up with a jump, feeling not quite there he took a few moments to come round. She had been so clear in his mind that for a second Merlin had thought it was real. He realised it was the same dream he had on and off at certain times of the year. Mainly near the anniversary of her death, but that was months ago now, he would never understand dreams he thought to him sadly. 

He sighed and got up deciding to go further into the forest to try and get some comfy. He walked off at a brisk pace noticing little as he moved on. Looking around he could see no comfy around. He sighed deciding in the end to use his senses to find it. He looked ahead intently and as his eyes turned golden he checked out the path ahead. No luck, so he changed direction coming to a clearing. As he walked into it he heard a current of birdsong which suddenly slowed down his mind. He stopped for a second to listen to the sound of nature around him. 

At times he felt as though he could spend endless days like this instead of attending unending court business. But as Arthur’s plans for a united Albion were steaming ahead Merlin knew he was needed in Camelot. After a few minutes he continued on his way. He stumbled through some trees before coming to a stream. Suddenly he realised just how thirsty he was and went towards it to get a drink.

As he crouched down by the stream he suddenly he heard a noise behind him. He turned to find a figure behind him dressed in a cloak. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to alarm you.” Merlin said trying to remain friendly.

The figure came closer until she was standing next to him, as she took off her hood she had a bright smile on her face.

“Hello Merlin I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Sefa, I don’t believe it.” Merlin laughed. “what are you doing here, how are you?” all of a sudden Merlin had a thousand questions to ask the former maid of the Queen.

“I am well thank you. I am with the Druids who are nearby. When I had to leave Camelot I decided to go back to where I was at the beginning. Once my father died in the camp I decided to stay here.” Sefa looked at Merlin closely. “It’s so good to see you. I’ve often thought of you.” She smiled.

There was a brief silence in which Sefa looked at Merlin more closely.

“Are you feeling alright?” she enquired concerned.

“Oh I’m just tired my days never seem to end. Always something to do things to attend to. I’m not sleeping too well at the moment.” Merlin replied suddenly realising he did indeed feel rough. 

“Come and sit down over here.” Sefa said taking him by the arm gently and leading him to a broken tree in the shade. Sefa got him some water. “Drink this.”

“Thank you.” He said taking the skin from her giving her a weak smile.

Sefa sat next to him studying his face carefully. She was shocked by how lined his face was and how little colour there was. Tired and lined with worries she guessed to herself. This was the Merlin she knew back in Camelot, always worrying about others and putting himself last. It seemed things had not changed she thought to herself. 

She remembered her time in Camelot and how attentive he always was to her, always helping her out when she needed it. Well maybe this was her chance to repay him for his kindness.

“I have some natural remedies in my bag, I would like to help you if you’ll let me.” She smiled at him.

“I’m not sure anything could at the moment.” He smiled to her sadly. “But you can give it a try.” He held out his hand to her she held it briefly giving it a little squeeze.

“You should learn to have more faith with the old healings Merlin.” Sefa said. 

“I’m always willing to learn.” Merlin smiled suddenly curious.

Merlin watched her get some leaves out of her bag. She carefully put them on the ground and took out a Jasmine flower. She carefully plucked the centre into one of the leaves before carefully putting some water around and then let it dry in the sun for a few minutes. Then she took out a little box and opened it, taking a little powder and mixing it onto the leave. Merlin found himself relaxing as he watched Sefa work, he had forgotten what pretty brown eyes she had. He smiled at her.

“What?” Sefa asked smiling back.

“I just can’t believe we have met again.” Merlin said, “when you left I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I always had hope that our paths would cross again. Right it’s ready, put your head back and try and relax.” Sefa said. She carefully put the mixture onto Merlin’s face and gently rubbed it into his temples. Merlin was overcome by an aroma from the mixture.

“What’s that smell?” he asked curiously.

“It’s from the Jasmine flower, it encourages restfulness, cures sore eyes and depression helps to get you back onto your feet.” Sefa smiled softly at him.

“So it will help make a new man out of me.” Merlin smiled.

“I can’t promise that.” Sefa laughed, “but I guarantee you will feel better than you have been. I will give you some to take back to Camelot with you. So you can use it when you need to.” 

Merlin smiled feeling suddenly a lot more relaxed as he regarded her.

“I know what would help me, if you agreed to see me tomorrow night.” He said arching an eyebrow at her.

“Merlin are you sure that is wise?” Sefa asked staring intently at him. “Anyway I thought you were too busy.”

“I am always busy of course Arthur can find me tons of things to do.” He laughed. “but seeing you suddenly like this, it’s made me realise I should try and find some time for myself too.”

Sefa sat back “I’m glad you have decided to do that, and yes I will meet you tomorrow. There’s a lovely place I can show you, really peaceful and beautiful.”

“That sounds really nice.” Merlin said. 

Sefa said “Just let me put a bit more ointment on.” She carefully spread it over his face. Merlin closed his eyes as he smelt the scent and let the aroma take him over, he found himself relaxing as Sefa’s finger gently rubbed on his weary bones. 

“Who taught you to do this?” he asked curiously.

“My Grandmother, she was a healer of the old ways, always knew how to make you feel better. She had such soft fingers even though they were wrinkly and old, she could heal anyone.” Sefa explanined

“I think you can.” Merlin smiled “I already feel better.”

“I’m glad you always worry about people all the time. You need to think about yourself Merlin.” She said

Merlin smiled, “Oh I’m fine.” 

Sefa smiled and shook her head at him.

You will never change will you?” she said 

“I suppose I’ve been serving people so long it just becomes habit, putting yourself second. It doesn’t feel right any other way. If that makes any sense.” He said.

“I think I know what you mean. But everyone needs some time to themselves Merlin. How is everything in Camelot?” she asked sitting next to him.

“Busy Arthur is a bundle of energy. Every bit of the day he needs to be doing something or giving you something to do.” Merlin complained looking up at the sky.

“Despite everything you love it though.” Sefa smiled noting that a little colour had started to come back into his face.

“I suppose I must do.” He said giving her a thoughtful look. “What about you?” I was really sad to see you leave Camelot.”

“I was sad to leave, but I needed to look after my father. He was never at ease with my decision to be in Camelot as you know. But I knew he was near the end, the Druids here were so kind to me, that I felt I wanted to give them something back, so I stayed.” She smiled.

“Will you stay with the Druids?” he asked.

“I’m not sure, I would like a family one day.” She said shyly “so I can’t see myself staying here permanently. Maybe one day I will meet someone and go away with them.”

“I’d like that too.” Merlin agreed, a warm smile on his face.

For a brief moment they stared at each other saying nothing. 

Merlin then remembered he had a meeting to attend and scurried up.

“Are you okay?” Sefa asked suddenly concerned.

“Sorry I’ve got a meeting I need to be at.” Merlin grinned. “you will meet me tomorrow evening?” he asked.

“Yes I will meet you, try not to get too stressed and use the remedy I’ve gave you when you are feeling tired. It will help you.” She smiled.

“I will and thank you I feel a lot brighter than before.” He said.

“I’m glad I managed to help you then.” Sefa said. “I’ll see you here tomorrow evening.”

She was about to walk away, but before she did Merlin leant over and kissed her cheek. 

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled before hurrying away.

Sefa watched him go revelling in the feel of his kiss, and smiling to herself she turned and returned to the Druid camp, feeling that her life had at last taken a turn for the better.


	9. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two. Sefa takes Merlin to a magical place that he didn't know existed, and each realise they have reached their crossroads in life.

Merlin scooped up the last of his papers from the afternoon meeting, knowing as ever that time was against him. Arthur had already informed in of an extra couple of chores, he inwardly cursed knowing he was already battling against the clock for his meeting with Sefa in the evening. He had stayed quiet about meeting Gwen’s former maid. For one thing he knew he would get endless ribbing from Arthur, and for another thing he knew he would also get hundreds of questions from Gwen, who was desperate to match Merlin with someone. So he battled to keep the information to himself.

“I was expecting you about half an hour ago.” Arthur said, as Merlin came charging into Arthur and Gwen’s quarters armed with washing and papers which Merlin had just finished editing. 

“You gave me two extra chores.” Merlin pointed out rolling his eyes. “Just because I’m the court sorcerer doesn’t mean I can do everything in record time sire.” He ended slightly sarcastically.

“I bet you could finish everything in no time at all if you used your magic.” Arthur remarked looking intently at his friend.

Merlin stared back at Arthur. He sometimes found conversations about magic with Arthur a peculiar experience. Not so long ago he was hiding it to save his hide. Now Arthur was actually joking with him about it, at times Merlin could only shake his head in disbelief at how far they had come.

“Magic is not to be used for trivial chores sire.” Merlin could hardly believe he had just said that. He suddenly thought back in time at how Gaius would say the same thing to him. He grinned to himself. “Is there anything else you require from me tonight?”

“You were using it for tricks before.” Arthur pointed out.

Merlin rolled his eyes that’s all he needed Arthur in one of his talkative moods. 

“They were not tricks they were experiments, there is a difference.” Merlin argued. He moved from one foot to the other anxiously.

“Merlin is there somewhere you want to be or something?” Arthur asked curiously.

“No of course not.” Merlin silently fumed, this was going to be tricky he thought to himself. “I just need to see Gaius some time.” He lied.

“See him any time you want.” Arthur said smiling at him.

“Yes but I haven’t seen him for a couple of days so I wanted to spend a little bit of time with him.” Merlin said suddenly wanting to throttle Arthur.

“You were with him this afternoon at the meeting.” Arthur laughed. “I swear we must be over working you Merlin all of a sudden you have no memory.”

“I know he was there this afternoon.” Merlin said fighting to keep his patience, “But that was business.”

“I would never stop you from seeing Gaius you know that.” Arthur said.

Merlin started to move around again. “So have I finished for the night?”

“What?” Arthur asked “Now?” 

“We are into the evening.” Merlin said 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go anywhere Merlin? Arthur asked looking him straight in the eye.

“No, well maybe..” Merlin began

“Ah I know you want a night out with Gwaine again.” Arthur remarked as if all had become clear. “I might remind you Merlin last time that happened you were caught singing mucky songs and making a nuance of yourself in the kitchens by Audrey.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I think you’ll find that was Gwaine making stories up.” Merlin replied, “anyway I don’t know any mucky songs.” He lied.

“Now I know that one is a lie Merlin.” Arthur laughed.

Merlin sighed. “Can I please go now?” he asked.

“What? Oh if seeing Gaius is that important to you I suppose you can.” Arthur smirked.

Merlin walked out of the room as quickly as possible, in case he got landed with another chore.

“What are you smirking at Arthur Pendragon?” Gwen asked as she walked into the room.

“I think Merlin has got a prior engagement.” Her husband grinned.

“You mean he’s going on a date? How come I don’t know about it?” Gwen asked slightly peeved.

“According to him he’s going to see Gaius.” Arthur grinned.

“Arthur don’t you dare!” Gwen whispered recognising the mischievous look on her husbands face. “Let the poor man have a night off. I wonder who she is?”

“God knows but you’d think she’d have better taste!” Arthur laughed.

“Well I think Merlin is a good catch.” Gwen said smiling intently at her husband.

“Of course you do Gwen you have always had time for hopeless cases.” Her husband laughed.

“Well I married you didn’t I?” she said with a grin.

Arthur looked up at her “Hey I’m not a …”

All he could hear was his wife’s laughter leaving the room, despite himself Arthur chuckled.

Merlin tucked his neckerchief tightly round his neck as he made his way through the Darkling Woods. The sun had just gone down, and there was a definite chill in the air. He found himself suddenly really looking forward to seeing Sefa again. He’d been so busy at various meetings during the day that he didn’t really have much time to remember the fact that he had met the her again. But now he could feel his excitement begin to grow. 

Sefa was waiting by the stream and she smiled as he arrived.

“You’re here.” She said happily.

“Did you really think I wasn’t coming?” Merlin asked curiously.

“Let’s say I know how devoted to your work you are.” She laughed.

“I think that’s just a clever way of saying you didn’t think I’d come.” Merlin laughed back.

“Well I was maybe expecting you to be late.” She said with a little smile.

“I have to admit Arthur did his best to hold me up.” Merlin grimaced.

Sefa looked at Merlin questioningly.

“I erm didn’t tell him I was meeting someone. So trying to get away was difficult.”

Sefa laughed. “I know how difficult that can be. I have a friend at the camp who is like a sister to me now. She is so curious about everything. I wouldn’t tell her where I was going tonight. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she was hiding in the undergrowth right now.”

Merlin laughed. “Curious people are difficult to live with aren’t they? Now where is this place you are taking me too.”

“This way.” 

They walked off into the woods at times Merlin felt he knew where they were, recognising the odd tree or path. But eventually they came to a clearing he realised he’d never been to before. They stopped and listened.

“I know.” Sefa smiled, “it’s so peaceful. I often come here whenever I want to be here on my own. I look at it as my own little area. Somewhere that no one else knows about.”

They sat down together on a broken tree, revelling in the beauty and solitude of the place.

“That’s what it was like for me too.” Merlin smiled. “when I was growing up in Ealdor and learning about my magic. I had a place that I called my little Kingdom. If ever anything went wrong I would end up there.”

“It must have been difficult to begin with learning about your magic.” She said putting her hand lightly on his arm.

Merlin nodded, “It had its moments I have to admit. Sometimes I felt as if I was going mad.” He shuddered. “I didn’t understand why I was so different to everybody else. I just wanted to be like my friends I suppose. But I knew I wasn’t at times it made me feel like a monster.” He said hardly daring to look at her.

Sefa took hold of his hand. “I never thought of it like that. I remember my grandfather talking of you when I was younger. He talked of you being this miracle person who would bring magic back to the land. I thought of you as almost god like I suppose.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say anything to you when you were at Camelot.” He said looking regretful.

“No need to apologise I know it’s what you needed to do, to stay by Arthur’s side. I always remembered that kind servant who looked after me.” They both smiled at each other. Sefa then pulled him up.

“Come on we’ve still a bit of a way to walk.”

They fell into an easy saunter and silence. Suddenly the terrain became a bit harder to walk on. The woods became more dense and the ground more slippery. Out ahead Merlin could see a clearing and he could hear water falling from a great height.

“Take care.” Sefa warned as they started on a bit of a climb, she carefully pushed branches aside, Merlin followed her suddenly aware that his senses were becoming more acute as they came nearer the water. What was this place he wondered? He was pretty sure he’d never been in this area before, as he didn’t recognise any landmarks around. The nearer they went to the water the more he felt attuned with the environment. It was as if he was coming home, to a place that was alive with “magic” he suddenly breathed out loud. 

Sefa turned around and smiled giving him a hand as they walked up a slight hill together. Once up Merlin saw it, a water fall of extraordinary beauty. Nor just beauty but power that seemed to get inside his mind and call out to him. He sat down in wonder. Sefa sat next to him.

“The Druids call this place “man gorffwys” it means the resting place. They believe it is where all the spirits and the gods gather. My father would bring me here whenever he needed to go somewhere for inspiration or peace. He believed whenever he was here the world would speak to his magical being. It’s a place of real relevance to the elders among my camp. They say magic is at its most vibrant whenever you are here. I wanted to show you it.” Sefa smiled, “ you looked so lost yesterday I was hoping bringing you here would open up your mind again.”

“I never even knew this place existed. Thank you for bringing me here. You’re right I can feel every magical fibre in my being. It’s like” he paused “nothing I’ve felt before.” 

Merlin looked around in wonder. He closed his eyes feeling totally at one with his magical self, as if it was dancing through his fingertips and every other part of him. The only other place that compared was Avalon, but that was different somehow, not as alive or vibrant as this place. This was a place where magic flowed every where. From the ground to the water to the sky and the trees. Merlin felt as though he could float down and touch the water below him, a heaven on earth.

Looking around her Sefa sighed. “I would get so sad here with my father. He would get lost in his magic and I would sit around and wish I had magic too, just so I could experience what he had.”

Merlin took her hands in his “Every one has the possibility to have magic of some kind inside them. Some have it more than others, but whose to say that you too don’t have some.”

Sefa smiled at him, “I knew bringing you here was a good idea. You suddenly look a new man.” She laughed remembering his words yesterday.

“A new man I’m not so sure about that. But a revitalized one yes definitely.” He squeezed her hands.

As he looked at her he realised just how different she was from the shy newcomer that had arrived at Camelot, a couple of years back. It wasn’t just maturity he thought, but something about herself. Maybe it was the death of her father, and having to survive on her own, but Merlin saw a very new and intriging person suddenly. A person he felt drawn too in a way he couldn’t explain. The fact that she didn’t possess magic changed little but something about her made him think there was something inside that he had yet to find out about. He hoped desperately that his busy life would not prevent him from attempting to find out what it was.

As darkness started to fall around them they made their way back carefully through the woods. Merlin at one stage using his eyes to find their path.

“You are amazing.” She smiled.

“I would love you to come back to Camelot with me.” He said.

“I left very suddenly, that would maybe cause problems.” Sefa said sadly.

“I can talk them round. Gwen hasn’t replaced you, give me a week and give me your answer. Please say you’ll consider it.” He begged her. 

After a couple of minutes she said. “I will think about it I promise.”

“That’s all I can ask.” He said. They stopped at the broken tree where they had met. 

“Thank you for showing me that place, it’s nice to know there is somewhere nearby where I can find a bit of tranquillity.”

Sefa hugged him suddenly. “Take care Merlin, remember to take the remedy when you need to. I’m just glad I could help you.” She said softly touching his face.

“We will meet again soon I think.” He smiled kissing her lips briefly before letting her go. 

Sefa smiled at him with her eyes, then turned to go, and she walked off feeling both elated and sad all at once. Did they really have a future she wondered, knowing that she wanted it more than anything, but afraid that some how it would not come to pass.  
*****************************************************************

As Merlin approached Camelot his elation lifted as he thought of his role as Court Sorcerer. Was this the chance to complete his life he wondered, or would it merely confirm that his responsibilities meant that he had to be on his own to do them justice? All of a sudden he realised he had reached his crossroads. Now all he had to do was to find the courage to confront them.


	10. Different Ways to Use a Scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a drabble I did as part of a challenge.

Sefa was running late again, as she approached the castle she felt, nervous too. How trapped Sefa felt at the moment. On the one hand she was desperate to prove herself to her father. But at the back of her mind, her conscience kept giving her sleepless nights. Despite what her father said about the Pendragons she had found them to be only to be kind and humble. The Queen especially had treated her fairly, and she even had the impression that she really cared about Sefa. After all hadn’t the Queen herself started off as a servant? Then there was Merlin, and she smiled to herself as she thought of him. He had been so kind and considerate since she first arrived, and at times, she felt as if they had something more developing? A voice suddenly cut into her thoughts.

“You I need some apples, never mind dreaming, jump to it.” Audrey barked.

Sefa ran outside towards where the fruit bushes grew, eager to please, determined to do something right. As she picked the apples she suddenly realised she’d forgotten to pick up a bowl.

“Oh no,” she thought out loud.

“You ok?” Merlin smiled.

“I’ve got to collect these apples for the cook, I’ve forgotten a bowl.” She sighed.

“Oh we’ll think of something, don’t worry. Anyway Audrey is a pussycat really.” He laughed.

“Merlin,” she smiled. 

“Oh I’m her favourite person, every time she sees me, she has a word for me.”

“I’m sure.” Sefa grinned. 

He began to undo his scarf, then unfurled it putting the apples onto it. “There he smiled, “who needs a bowl.”

“You’ve come to my rescue again.” She smiled shyly.

For a second their eyes met, she smiled, then left. Merlin watched her go, sadly.


	11. Unheard Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble. A chance meeting between the Queen's new maid and Merlin.

Sefa ran down the castle corridors, attempting to neaten her hair as she went. Of all the days to over-sleep she thought, she felt her face redden as she ran, round the corner, then a huge crash took her by surprise. Around her a broken pot and food was scattered around her feet. 

“Oh I’m so sorry”, she said, as she stooped on the floor pick up what she could. As she looked up, her eyes met, a pair of very blue startled eyes, which suddenly broke into a shy smile.

“Oh don’t worry, in fact it was my fault, wasn’t looking where I was going.” Merlin smiled, “I’m Merlin by the way.” He extended an awkward hand to her.

“I’m Sefa.” She smiled back.

“You’re the Queen’s new maid aren’t you?”

“Yes and I’ve overslept, on my first day, that’s why I was in such a hurry.”

“Oh Gwen, won’t mind”, Merlin smiled, “Now if it was the King on the other hand.” He made a face.

Suddenly on cue a voice screamed out, “Merlin where’s my breakfast? It’s almost lunch-time!” Merlin looked at Sefa as if he’d just been proven right. “I’d better go.” He smiled, 

“Yes me too, really nice to of met you Merlin.” Sefa smiled as she turned to go.

“Sefa, I was wondering, maybe we could meet a bit later, I could show you a bit of the place,” Merlin smiled, “although of course you don’t have to”

“I’d love too Merlin, I’ll look forward to it.” 

Sefa smiled to herself as she walked down the corridor. All of a sudden the day had just got better.


	12. Gloomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble. Sefa is conflicted between not letting her father down, and her new friends she has made in Camelot.

The rain outside hammered the windows, and somehow it mirrored Sefa’s mood. She felt troubled, not least confused by her feelings. To start off with she wanted only to please her father. She would do anything for him, he had brought her up amid much hardship, made sacrifices for her, and she knew she owed him everything. With this in mind when he had asked her, to be a spy inside of Camelot, she had jumped at the chance. Here was her opportunity to repay him, a chance for her to do something for him.

Her father as a Druid loathed the Pendragons, and so Sefa was taught from a young age, that they were evil and only good dead. But Sefa suddenly realised the more time she spent with the King and Queen, the more she liked them. Especially the Queen, who was always understanding, whenever Sefa made a mistake, or had a bad day. Having been a servant herself Queen Guinevere, was well aware, of how difficult a life in serving could be. 

Then there was Merlin, and her eyes twinkled as she thought of how Merlin, from the start had welcomed her from the very first day. Indeed from time to time they had spent the odd hour walking in the meadow, she marvelled at how easily he could make her laugh. He would flirt with her shyly, never forcing himself on her, but always giving her plenty of attention. She swore at times, her heart would flip over, when he told her his bad jokes and his tales about the King, which would always make her laugh. 

She sighed as she contemplated her double-life. All of a sudden nothing was simple anymore. Her idea of pleasing her father, was fraught with difficulties, making her suddenly feel very gloomy and sad.


	13. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another conflicted piece for Sefa, as she contemplates her current situaton.

Sefa was finishing her work for the day, she walked down the long corridor towards the stairs. Something made her turnaround and she caught sight of two figures who were talking. Suddenly a familiar smile came her way, she realised it was Merlin talking with Arthur. She smiled back, her heart heavy.

As she walked out into the courtyard not for the first time regret filled her heart. Was is too much to ask for her to get some happiness? While her heart shone, it was also half in shadow, thanks to the games she had to play.

She so wanted to make her father proud, but she wanted other things too. From the moment she had met Merlin something about him endeared her. In a perfect world she could do both things, but in the real one she could not. She knew she could not let down her father, so that always won the day.

But in her dreams at night she lived another life. One where her and Merlin could live together, without the stench of dishonesty that tainted their real world. She continued to hope that one day she would find a way to bring them together. But in her heart of hearts she knew that would never happen.


End file.
